They all fit
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Recent examples from Davos abound.
His distilling of the complex situation in Syria into his riotous 'Baddies Vs Baddies' routine had them rolling in the aisles at the Huffington Post, but it seems most other news services just ignored him. A more appropriate response as Abbott's behaviour has gone beyond a joke.
The long list of those news services who thought nothing Abbott said was newsworthy are listed in an article by Alan Austin on the Independent Australia website. Good on them.
At Davos Abbott was asked about the recent claims surrounding burns received by asylum seekers and the potential involvement of the Australian navy. His response was that of a drowning man - deny, deny, deny.
To quote his open mind on the matter:
"There is absolutely no evidence … These are just claims without any apparent facts to back them up,"
"I have complete confidence in the decency, the humanity and the professionalism of Australia's navy and customs personnel."
When pushed on whether there should be an investigation, he replied:
"Well, as I said, who do you believe? Do you believe Australian naval personnel or do you believe people who are attempting to break Australian law?"
People certainly don't believe anything that comes out of the mouth of Abbott or any of his ministers, so he has done the navy no favours by sticking to his policy of avoiding openness and transparency.
On Indigenous affairs Inaction Abbott is doing as little as possible. He recently flagged potential changes to the Constitutional preamble, an old idea that his mentor John Howard implemented in an effort to avoid the apology. Abbott is so keen on seeing this happen that it won't happen in this term of government, it should happen as soon as possible, but it shouldn't be rushed. Only the Mad Monk knows what that means.
And to further underline how hopeless his approach to Indigenous affairs is, we only need to look as far as his hand-picked adviser Warren Mundine. Mundine has done nothing to protect funding for indigenous programs, and his latest attempts to broker treaties between individual indigenous nations has been a complete failure.
Even despite this almost total inaction, Abbott has managed to upset the Australian Monarchist League who are afraid of "almost certain violence" should there be any progress on the matter.
Abbott spent more than three years in opposition sharing none of his ideas or visions (it seems because he has none), and trying to whip up fear and anxiety.
The result is the most hopeless government this nation has ever seen, a populace which is deeply divided, and a large number of people who are ill-informed and operating on fear and lies.
Abbott has sewn the seeds of a troubled nation. If the economic headwinds push us into a downturn or a recession, there are dangerous times ahead. And we have leaders who will not be able to handle it.
For everyone's sake, the LNP should remove Abbott now.